When You Feel Like You're Failing in Every Way
Okay, let's get personal. This is my first blog post on any topic like this but I want to share with you with what I have been struggling with...failure. I don't think i'm alone here. I know we have all felt like we failed at something, whether it be small or big. Feeling like you failed at something is one of the worst feelings and can be an enormous challenge. It can hit us deep in our sense of self, hurt our confidence, feed our doubt and anxiety, leave us exposed, embarrassed, and unsure of what we are doing.
Now, i'm not going to claim that I have conquered these feelings, actually, I still feel them. Most recently, I felt like I've been failing at blogging. I really let it go for the past few months and I did because I let my life obstacles get in the way. Blogging is something I really enjoy and one of my favorite hobbies. So, I wanted to share what I like to keep in mind when going through these feelings and how I cope with it.
1) Give Yourself permission to Fail
Even though failing may make you feel terrible, failing is necessary to succeed. In real life, you don't get redos...life happens in "one take". I think it's important to set realistic standards. If you hold yourself to a certain standard of being perfect and always polished, that's when you're just setting up yourself for failure. Now, this next sentence is going to sound real Yoda-ish but in order to learn from your failure/mistakes you have to accept what you don't know. To give yourself permission to be "inadequate" now is to know that next time, you'll be better the next time around.
2) Make Changes After you Fail
Like I said earlier, failing is part of the learning process. In order to come out better, you need to make changes. If you don't and you keep doing what you've done before, you will keep getting the same result. Dust yourself off and give it another go because you may be closer to success than you think. Keep trying and pushing yourself but tweaking it a little the next time around. Think about this, there is nothing gained by just giving up, right? RIGHT! You don't want to be stuck with the "what if" question.
3) Give up your need for "approval" from others
Failure can be embarrassing because people may notice. Our fear to fail I think has a lot to do with the worry that people will judge us and lose their respect for you. We are often worried what they will say about us. But guess what? Its YOUR life not THEIRS. If you let other opinions hold too much power over you, it will kill your confidence. When you're not set back by the opinions of others, you can go a lot further.
4) Don't lose your conviction
It's so easy to throw yourself a pity party in the moment of failing. I mean, we're human...of course we are going to feel bad about ourselves immediately after. Self-destruction is not the goal. Change your mindset from miserable failure to a persistent go-getter. Look at it this way, being disappointed and hurt is inevitable BUT being feeling miserable is always YOUR choice. If you change something, change the way you look at it. If you fail, it's not the end of the world, just another shot to try again.
I hope this post helped you in some way or reminded you embrace your failure no matter how big or small.Instead of using you failures as an excuse, make them your motivation.